Flying Puppies!

I never understood why batman is a hero, but bats are villains.

   In the entire animal kingdom bats are the only flying nipples. That alone should earn them respect.

   If any critter needs a publicist, it’s bats.  Of the 1,300 species of bats in the world, only three drink blood. If you asked 1,300 different people I bet more than three drink blood. 

   The vampire bat has a numbing enzyme in its saliva to help the animal it bites. That’s the kind of concern you’d never see from a vampire.  
 

 

   Bats nurse their young in flight. That’s beyond good parenting.  We never see Vampires at Chucky Cheese.

   Bats almost never say, “ I come to suck your blood”.  They don’t have a diabolical laugh: “Blaaahaaaahaa!” And bats aren’t one of the ingredients to a witches brew.

   They’re flying puppies that detect objects with complex sonar.  I can’t get my dog to bring back the ball.

    FACT: If we had numbing saliva, there’d be a lot less   

                PDA.

    FACT: You never see anyone in line at a garden

center buying a bag of Vampire guano.

    FACT: Bats are the main pollinator of agave, which is 

used to make tequila. Now who’s your buddy?

    FACT: I’ve never woke up and found the hood of my car

covered in bat poo.

    Bats are the most diverse group of mammals on Earth. That’s called success. It’s time to put an end to bat racism. 

Let’s stop bat-ism.

Follow Randy Kagan on Twitter