Just Add Ice

 If oil and water don’t mix how do you think oil and ice are going to get along?

 Adding the oil industry to the Arctic is like adding pickles to a pizza.

The oil companies cannot get it right in warm still waters. They drill in Beautiful-ville where we vacation, and still spill.

 Take all the lies, poisonings and past disregard for the environment and just add ice. I don’t see it going well.

 The oil industry can’t be competent at 72° and breezy. How do you think they’ll handle business in sub zero weather? They create enormous disasters with their bare hands. The only difference is they will be wearing mittens and earmuffs.

 Once you drill, you can’t un-drill. And no, that’s not what she said.

  I live in LA. I would rather use less gasoline than have it come from thousands of miles away. If you want cheap oil that bad, then move to the Arctic. Long distance relationships don’t work.

 Some general advice: If the number one form of transportation is a snow mobile, don’t drill.  If you have to wear caribou to stay warm, don’t drill. If you need an ice axe on your tool belt, don’t drill.

 How much oil did the solar and wind industries spill just last year alone? Zero. Zero isn’t far from negative one. The ANWR argument is old and out dated. In the 20 years we’ve been arguing, dozens of cleaner options have emerged.  The definitive answer is getting off fossil fuels.  Yet we still talk about building more pipelines and an oil boom on Indian reservations. Nothing says high-tech millennial like the phrase “oil boom on Indian land.” Wow, the future is here.

 Thanks to Arctic oil drilling we have new snow cone flavors like Berry unleaded, Crude Oil Crunch, Peach Petrol and Diesel Delight.

 They want to ship the oil by railroad. I’m not a mathematician, but the more rail the more chances of derailments. The only products that should be moved by rail are non toxic merchandise like cotton candy, Q Tips or pillows. Maybe create an all fluffy ordinance for rail transport. No one will get upset if a train of teddy bears spills into a river.

 The other option is to send the oil by cargo ship. Transporting oil in water full of icebergs sounds like having a fleet of Titanics.

 The Arctic is the world’s last pristine area. The entire place is clean and bright white like a fairy tale.  Even the critters are white; Snow Shoe Hares, White Foxes, baby seals and Snowy Owls. Not to mention it’s where Santa lives. No one likes Frosty the oil soaked snowman.

 Oil companies pollute, destroy, corrupt, create wars, and are bringing us near the brink of atmospheric collapse. The last thing we want are all those ingredients in the Arctic.

 The only thing interesting about Alaska is that it’s clean. Trash Alaska and you may as well call it, Very North Dakota.

 They’re right about one thing- oil extraction in the arctic will create jobs. Jobs for lawyers, spin doctors, beach cleaners and Seal Scrubbers.


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