Stench Trench (aka Los Angeles River)

L.A. has flowing money, flowing people and flowing cars. Everything flows in this town, except the river.

We have the prettiest people and the ugliest river. Sacramento has more meth per capita than any city in California. And yet, they have an actual river. San Antonio is full of Texans, and they don’t have a stench trench.  On Saint Patrick’s Day Chicago dyes it’s river green. Apparently in Los Angeles, every day is Saint Patrick’s Day.  If you went fishing in the LA River, you’d be lucky to catch chlamydia.

A clean river would be a stopover for spring and fall migration of birds. That means money. Tourists could see a Great Blue Heron and Mickey Mouse in the same day.  

River front property is worth more than ditch front property.  I see birds in the LA river drinking toxic ooze. We worry about disease transferring from animals to humans.  Let’s stop being a toxic layover. 

Freeing the LA river would be less money than an average city spends preparing for the Olympics.  And instead of empty monoliths left behind, we’d have a river.

In Oahu they have green corridors between development to help absorb rainwater and prevent land slides. Same theory applies to lessening run off from the streets of LA into our river.  Turn useless asphalt into rainwater holding facilities. Engineers use electronics to regulate the flow of Colorado River water.  Why not in the most influential city on Earth? Film crews drive miles to get to an actual river.  We have one here. Our once proud river is used by Hollywood as a wet road for car chases.  Show business seems more interested in getting Hillary into the white house than increasing the quality of life for all Angelinos.  Taming a river isn’t a legacy.  Bringing it back is. Who will step up? 
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Water in the Wild

A short documentary on bottled water behavior. (2015)
Directed by Kimberly Kagan
Written and voiced by Randy Kagan
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Nature's Gay

Some people believe that a gay lifestyle is unnatural.

As if there is no connection with nature. 

So what does nature tell us about the LGBT community?

In the African rainforest, scientists documented 

Bonobos having multiple male encounters. That’s with no electrolysis or Kenneth Cole shoes.

Even lions, the King of the Jungle, can be gay.

Which proves once again, where there’s a King there’s always a Queen.

Dragonflies have been gay for years. Their favorite TV show is “Sex in the Tsetse”.

Way before Caitlin were green algae and clown fish. Both of these species are transgender.  

Ants basically live in huge lesbian colonies. Lucky bastards. They’re not just lesbians. They’re lesbian ants that lift five times their body weight. Though I know a few of my lesbian friends who can as well.

Big horn sheep are gay. I’m pretty sure it’s impossible not to be gay with a horn on your head.

Dolphins are also smart enough to be gay. And no, I will not make a reference to it’s blow hole.

God made the Earth this way for a reason. So if it happens in the natural world than it’s by definition a form of divinity. It maybe the closest thing we have to communicating with god.

It’s annoyingly ironic since nature is always ignored.

Yet when needed, it’s treated as a supreme court.

Animal behavior is not dictated by shame, judgment or even self identity. It just feels good. And that to me is the most natural reason to do anything.

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Homeless

You could put yourself in their shoes if they had any.
 

“The homeless problem”.   I remember when we called them homeless people. Apparently the word “people” became cumbersome.

It must be easier to ignore a problem without the reminder that they’re us and we’re them.  There are 50,000 homeless PEOPLE in Los Angeles.  

This city is full of people who move here from towns smaller than our homeless population.

Hollywood has more than enough money and power to take care of this tragic reality. It’s a problem that can’t be ignored. So why is it?

This town is full of fake heroics and false bravery. Everything is scripted and safe. They think living in reality is working on a reality show. The closest thing to kindness we’ll get from this town is “Empathy” The Movie.

If anger is an energy than I could power a nation. I don’t want to hear from an ostrich that I’m too negative.  Sorry it’s not a blissful beer commercial or a rave.  I hate to interrupt your naïve decadence with facts. Homeless people are an epidemic in Hollywood. The only time we care about who’s in our streets is during a parade.

Maybe homeless people won’t be taken seriously until they’re on a parade float.

With 50,000 people on the streets, everyday is a parade.
 

Homeless people live an average of 20 years less than us.

It’s as if the rich have had the empathy bred out of them. It’s a known fact, poor people give more than rich. (notice I didn’t add people)

We bail out banks. Why not bail out people? After all they’re potential consumers and voters. Maybe we like to see people worse off than us to feel good. I’m not very religious but which bible says, “F the homeless”?

We have places to take stray dogs. Let’s try homeless adoptions or take a homeless to work week.  Find The Homeless Whisperer who can train them to behave.

Convert Bell Air tennis courts to homeless shelters. And there’s enough unused SUV space to keep 100,000 homeless in comfort.

This town loves to ramble on about what a “character” is thinking and feeling. Never ending detail into the story of pretend people. Actors drive to the set, memorizing their lines and fake feelings. Passing countless real lives picking out of garbage cans. Homeless is not a motif.

This town protects pavement over people. I am bitter. Bitterly honest. More money is spent on satellite TV and Botox every year than our homeless.
 

There’s always a flip side. Like a cruise ship that dumps it’s garbage in the ocean. Is it really a party when someone else pays the price?

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Corporate Animals

Nature has value in advertising.  They use whales, tigers, lions, camels… all exploited by corporations.

That equals value. We all know in advertising there are

no accidents. Greed always does its homework. 

Advertisers hook electrodes to people while they watch pictures of sunsets, lakes and wild animals. Images that say, strong, free, wild, beautiful and fast.

That’s a whole lot of adjectives that cost advertisers nothing.

If a company puts hump back whales in ads, then they should be contributing money to their survival. Everyone else involved in production gets paid.  If your corporate logo is a cheetah, pay up. Putting a price tag on nature might be the only way corporations will see it’s value. You give nothing away. Why should nature?

  Corporations instead ask us for donation money. The guy behind the counter at Taco Bell asked If I’d donate to their “cause du jour”.  I’m in Taco Bell for a reason. It’s cheap.  Taco Bell is a squllion dollar subsidiary of a billion dollar franchise that’s owned by a consortium. And they want the guy ordering off the dollar menu to donate money. If I had money to donate I wouldn’t be eating at Taco Smell.

When a homeless guy asks for money it’s disgraceful. When Taco Bell asks for money it’s thoughtful. Corporate begging may look better than the homeless guy who hasn’t showered since 2008, but the smell lingers much longer.

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