Nature's Gay

Some people believe that a gay lifestyle is unnatural.

As if there is no connection with nature. 

So what does nature tell us about the LGBT community?

In the African rainforest, scientists documented 

Bonobos having multiple male encounters. That’s with no electrolysis or Kenneth Cole shoes.

Even lions, the King of the Jungle, can be gay.

Which proves once again, where there’s a King there’s always a Queen.

Dragonflies have been gay for years. Their favorite TV show is “Sex in the Tsetse”.

Way before Caitlin were green algae and clown fish. Both of these species are transgender.  

Ants basically live in huge lesbian colonies. Lucky bastards. They’re not just lesbians. They’re lesbian ants that lift five times their body weight. Though I know a few of my lesbian friends who can as well.

Big horn sheep are gay. I’m pretty sure it’s impossible not to be gay with a horn on your head.

Dolphins are also smart enough to be gay. And no, I will not make a reference to it’s blow hole.

God made the Earth this way for a reason. So if it happens in the natural world than it’s by definition a form of divinity. It maybe the closest thing we have to communicating with god.

It’s annoyingly ironic since nature is always ignored.

Yet when needed, it’s treated as a supreme court.

Animal behavior is not dictated by shame, judgment or even self identity. It just feels good. And that to me is the most natural reason to do anything.

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Flying Puppies!

I never understood why batman is a hero, but bats are villains.

   In the entire animal kingdom bats are the only flying nipples. That alone should earn them respect.

   If any critter needs a publicist, it’s bats.  Of the 1,300 species of bats in the world, only three drink blood. If you asked 1,300 different people I bet more than three drink blood. 

   The vampire bat has a numbing enzyme in its saliva to help the animal it bites. That’s the kind of concern you’d never see from a vampire.  
 

 

   Bats nurse their young in flight. That’s beyond good parenting.  We never see Vampires at Chucky Cheese.

   Bats almost never say, “ I come to suck your blood”.  They don’t have a diabolical laugh: “Blaaahaaaahaa!” And bats aren’t one of the ingredients to a witches brew.

   They’re flying puppies that detect objects with complex sonar.  I can’t get my dog to bring back the ball.

    FACT: If we had numbing saliva, there’d be a lot less   

                PDA.

    FACT: You never see anyone in line at a garden

center buying a bag of Vampire guano.

    FACT: Bats are the main pollinator of agave, which is 

used to make tequila. Now who’s your buddy?

    FACT: I’ve never woke up and found the hood of my car

covered in bat poo.

    Bats are the most diverse group of mammals on Earth. That’s called success. It’s time to put an end to bat racism. 

Let’s stop bat-ism.

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